Absolutely Not

Take That Trish!

Mar 31, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather claps back at herself bc the hormones are making her feel like a genetically modified chicken tender with a side of sassy dont-give-a-F#ck ranch. She takes your voicemails and realizes y'all are pretty much in the same boat. Love and Light!

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Pregnant Pirates Meet Olivia Benson

Mar 24, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down her recent surprise in the Turks and all the trouble she stirred up in Charleston. There was leather, edibles, bootcut jeans and lots of questions. She also hits the hotline and tries to fix your problems one drunken message at a time.

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Hollywood Tower of Terror

Mar 17, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with herself in a downward spiral about this dumbest shit ever, per usual. It's her birthday and she is reporting live from the Turks and Caicos. RIGHT BY THE BEACH BOIIII. She is full of gratitude and rosé and a slight flicker of positivity.

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Spilling the English Breakfast Tea

Mar 10, 2021

Heather's long time friend and fellow thespian extraordinaire, Tina T, is in town and the ladies are spilling the literal HIGH TEA on their weekend debauchery and breaking down the riveting Oprah interview. Heather is wildly concerned the Monarchy is coming for her so buckle up and get your beverages set!

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ET, TU BRUTE?

Mar 3, 2021

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is stepping in her pisces self-loathing season and realizing her physical well being is important but also almost impossible to keep up with. Her pants are tight, her skin is dry and vagina is gaping. Lots of Voicemails and self-indulgent things to discuss!